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Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 1999 11:45 PM

Subject: Dearest Mary Thunder!

A wonderful set of "Spirit" circumstances brings me to write this heart-felt letter.

***AHO I AM SO GLAD YOU DID.

I picked up the book, "Blessings in Disguise" last summer. I neglected to read it until last week, all in perfect (Spirit) timing!

***ALWAYS...

Carolyn Ball has done a tremendous service to all of us who question our paths in the service of Spirit. I have had a hunger in my body and soul for many months now about what I need to do to grow in service and connection to Spirit.

***CAROLYN & I REMAIN VERY GOOD FRIENDS & ADVENTURE PALS. RECENTLY SHE TOOK A TRIP TO INDIA & CAME BACK WITH A SILK PUJABI FOR ME THAT WAS TO "DIE" FOR! I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HER IN MY LIFE & JUST LOVE HER SO.

I must admit I was jealous of the beautiful and loving, challenging and overwhelming lessons that she learned while serving you and Thunder Ranch.

***DON'T BE THEY WERE TIMES OF PRETTY AMAZING ENERGIES & EMOTIONS BUT "WE BOTH" HAVE FOUND A WAY TO HOW CAN WE SAY IT...."HAVE THE PHOENIX RISE OUT OF THE ASHES"

Ironically, I was born in Texas, raised in Seguin!

***BEEN THERE...

I just returned last October to the awful floods that destroyed 1/4 of my home town.

***YES THE FLOODS WERE SOMETHING ELSE...

As I dug in the river mud for what was left of my family's home, I heard in my head, "This is just the beginning child..." I knew the whole scene was like a dream to interpret.

***WOW

The house represented the past negative memories of childhood for me, the things that were destroyed were my over-attachments to the material world, the water, years of pent up emotions that I had yet to honor. And the black/green smelly river mud, my fears...the ones that suck the life force from me, the ones that prevent me from being in the NOW. That prevent my spirit from connecting and trusting in SPIRIT. I knew at a very deep level that I had to change some more, move on from the person that I believed I was...Work in the service of spirit, everyday, with joy, laughter, adventure, courage and strength.

***AHO...MY UNCLE, LEONARD CROW DOG SAYS..."THERE IS THE GREAT MYSTERY TO WHICH WE PRAY & THEN THERE IS THE GREAT MYSTERIOUS OF WHICH WE ARE."  MEANING WE ARE SO MYSTERIOUS...EXPECIALLY TO OURSELVES. OTHERS CAN SEE US BE WE CAN'T SEE OURSELVES...ESPECIALLY IN THE LITTLE BOXES WE HAVE CONSTRUCTED AROUND OURSELVES. I AM SO "PITIFUL" THAT I HAVE OTHERS PRAY FOR ME...FOR THEY CAN SEE WHAT I NEED TO PRAY FOR...I MIGHT MAKE A PRAY OF SOMETHING THAT I DON'T REALLY NEED OR WISH TO DEAL WITH...THEN HAVE TO WALK WITH THOSE PRAYERS.

IT IS GOOD HOW YOU CHANGED THE VERIBLES OF A HEARTBREAKING SITUATION...CLEANING UP YOUR CHILDHOOD FROM THE MUD! GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!

Funny, as a child I sat by the Guadalupe River talking to the trees and the animals. I knew my God was in the nature around me. I knew that Jesus heard me and was my very best friend. I knew I loved God more than anything in my little world. I knew I wanted to go HOME. I didn't know where home was, or how to get there.

***A LOT OF US HAVE WANTED TO GO HOME...HOME IS WITHIN OURSELVES & WITHIN OUR HEARTS & WITHIN OUR SOULS...UNTIL WE FIND THE HOME THERE THEN WE JUST CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE.

I forgot the ways of my child. I put on the shelf my dreams of a world where people were kind and loving, outrageous and courageous.   Where Spirit and the values of the highest were the ways that people choose to live. I forgot, then remembered, then forgot! Ha, as in your last "Letter from Me", maybe the forgetting is a good thing!

***AHO...

I choose to remember that the reason I exist on this planet is in service to mankind, animalkind, and earthkind. I choose to volunteer to take Suzanne Day's place as a Ranchie. The choice scares me to death!

HA! Death of the old self! If it is in the will of Spirit for me to offer my services to you at Thunder Ranch, I will be there with bells on!

***AHO...WRITE ME A LETTER (SNAIL MAIL) WITH TABACCO & I WILL CHECK WITH THE SPIRIT IF THIS IS GOOD FOR YOU & I TO DO.  

***I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOUR THOUGHTS OF THIS TODAY...

May Spirit bless your day, your body and your teachings as they have blessed me, dear teacher!

***AHO THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH DEAR ONE...

***HEY HAVE YOU EVER WRITTEN A BOOK...YOU WRITE BEAUTIFULLY...

***I SHALL SEND A COPY TO CAROLYN & HOPE IT HELPS "MAKE HER DAY!"

***THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE FOR IT HAS UPLIFED ME TODAY.

MUCH LOVE TO YOU...

THUNDER

Much love,